To say or not to say

The world is a cold place. It's full of heartless and exploitative people who will use you.

The world is a beautiful place. It's filled with people who can heal you.

As Neils Bohr-the famous Nobel laureate in Physics said

“There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.”

 A trivial truth for example is- ‘it's snowing outside’. You can immediately verify if it's true or false. But if you’re hypothesizing about something as vast as the world or the human race then whatever your position, the opposite is also true. So the world is both good and bad since it's a great truth.

On the same lines of great and trivial truths is this question- 'Should we be vulnerable and show our pains to the world? '. You can argue both ways here

On one side are people like Ahmad Faraz-the famous Urdu poet who say

Chup chaap apni aag me jalte raho Faraaz

Duniya to arz-e-haal se be abroo kare

(Arz-e-haal-describing your well-being, be abroo-dishonor)

Burn quietly in your fire Faraz

The world will disgrace you if you tell them how you are

Or as Somerset Maugham would say-

"The world is quickly bored by the recital of misfortune, and willing avoids the sight of misfortune"

All these opinions force us to maintain a semblance of normalcy even if we're broken inside.

If we maintain a stoic silence about what we’re going through we’re hailed as tough and strong. We’re looked upon by people for our endurance and pride in not seeking help.

Tamam jism hi ghayal tha ghaav aisa tha

Koi na jaan saka rakh rakhav aisa tha

The whole body was hurt and wounded

But nobody could find out because of the way he carried himself

There is a certain poetic charm in not speaking about our troubles. But is this really helpful? 

On the other side is the argument that bottling one's feelings can be detrimental. While you may be admired for your stoicism, the con here is that mental stress can affect physical well-being.

I remember Jaun Aelia's words on this-

“Who baatein kha gayi mujhko

Jo baatein pee gaya tha mai”

Those things that I had swallowed ( and did not speak about)

Those things ultimately swallowed me

If you speak about your pains and tribulations, you may make yourself vulnerable to people’s judgments and criticism. 

But you may also end up forming some deep connections with people when you open yourself. Being vulnerable also fosters intimacy and greater connection in our relationships. 

IMO I think it's better to reach out to friends or family. If you think you have no one to go to then go to a therapist. I'm afraid I sound like Marie Antoinette extolling people to eat cake if they can't afford food since not everyone has access to a therapist 😉 But anyway I'm not here to advice...

We all are pretending to look nice and smooth, but in reality, everyone is carrying some burden-light or heavy-it may vary. We all are frayed and it's okay to be frayed and broken. Remember anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger

As Iqbal-the famous Urdu poet has said-

Tu bacha bacha ke na rakh ise, tera aaina hai woh aaina

Jo shikasta hai to azeeztar, hai nigah-e-aainasaaz me

Do not save and protect the perception you have of yourself

It's dearer in your eyes if your perception is that of a defeated one 

I think the poet is trying to say that have a certain humility in your perception of ‘Self’. If you think of yourself as all too good and perfect, you do yourself harm for we learn more about ourselves and life  when we go through tough times

Or as Pablo Neruda-the famous Chilean Poet, would say-

" There are wounds that instead of opening our skin open our eyes"

Finally, to conclude, a picture is worth a thousand words...



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